


Ass Sweet As Chocolate

by unimooseaday



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bakery, Jearmin Reverse Bang, M/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-05-10
Updated: 2015-06-05
Packaged: 2018-03-29 23:03:27
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,617
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3913978
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/unimooseaday/pseuds/unimooseaday
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Jean tries to come out to his mom the first time, he chickens out. So he comes up with a new plan of attack, come out by cake!<br/>He gets a bit sidetracked, however, when the bakers grandson looks like he was designed to match every fantasy Jean had ever had. </p><p>Written for the 2015 Jearmin Reverse Big Bang.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. When You Feel Like A Ceiling Fan

**Author's Note:**

  * Inspired by [Ass Sweet As Chocolate](https://archiveofourown.org/external_works/114313) by zelkam. 



> Inspired by the wonderful Art by zelkam!

There was tension in the air, a quiet hum of undisturbed thoughts. The only noise was small, made by scraping silverware and careful chewing. Jean shot a quick look at his mother over a forkful of rice. Her hair was tied up in a messy bun, a few loose strands hanging over her tired face.

He wondered if she felt the tension like he did. The choking desire to just say something, but being held back by the constricting fear of rejection. He doubted it, she wasn't the one who had a secret to tell.

“How was school today?” She asked, voice cheerful and free of the fear Jean held. When he didn't answer she spoke again, “Jean? Are you okay dear?”

He nodded quickly and pushed a finger to his lips as though he had been chewing, though it had been a while since his last bite.

“Yea mom. School was okay. Didn't do much.” He finally responded, faking as normal an emotion as he could.

His mother didn't seem convinced. “Are you sure? You seem a bit...off today? Is something bothering you?” Jeans eyes darted back to his plate, still mostly full. Then back up to his mother.

“No. Well. Yea....Mom, there's something I have to tell you” The tension seemed to increase now that both parties were aware of it.

His mother was more intent now, putting down her silverware and looking right at her son. “What is it dear?” She sounded almost expectant. Jean took a deep breath.

“Mom, I'm...”

His brain was scrambled, one side telling him to ‘just do it!’, the other giving detailed explanations as to why this was a horrible idea. Blood rushed in his ears and his heart thumped sporadically.

“Pregnant!”

Fuck.

The concentrated look on his mothers face broke into a smile. She let out a gentle chuckle. “Oh Jean-bo, you had me worried for a moment! I thought something was wrong!” She stood up to clear the plates. “You do know that April Fools is only on the first right?” She laughed, holding a plate in one hand and the pot of rice in the other she leaned down to give Jean a quick peck on the forehead.

As she walked out of the room she called back “Finish eating and then come watch Jeopardy with me! It's the kid's version tonight!”

Sitting alone at the table Jeans mind was still racing. Marco was going to be pissed..

* * *

 

 “Jean, man, you suck today!” Connie called through his headset as Jean's character died. His screen was splattered red, the animated blood dripping down to form the letters which bluntly informed him that he had killed his character's team yet again.

“Yea Con, I know. I'm just not having that good of a day. I'll do better next round” Jean replied tiredly as he clicked his way back into the game. After dinner Jean had gone up to his room, opting out of Jeopardy with his mom. Instead he had joined a multiplayer game with his friends, deciding to vent his anger on animated giants.

“Well you best, I’m not gonna waste the little time I have on here watching you get us all killed!” Eren ordered, his voice cracking through the headset.

Jean rolled his eyes “Shove it Jeager and just play the damn game! Were back on.”

Only a few minutes had passed before the screen was spattered with blood again. This time it was Marco who spoke “Jean, there is something obviously wrong today. We weren't even in a fight and you managed to get us all killed.”

“Yea Jean, why do you suck?” Eren called tauntingly.

“I thought I told you to shove it Jeager!”

“Speaking of shoving it” Connie interrupted, with a light tone “How did the whole gay with your mom thing go”

Leave it to Connie to bring up the one thing he didn't want to talk about. “I don't think it's physically possible for me to be gay with my mom Connie.” Jean said, attempting to dismiss the conversation. Marco wouldn't let him.

“Yea Jean. How did that go? You did it right?”

Jean let the games ominous loading music fill in for him.

Really Jean” Marco sounded disappointed “She's your mom, she won't care!”

“I know that! But what if she does!” Jean snapped. He stopped, taking a deep breath and coaming a hand through his hair he responded, softer. “I know but it's just what if...she's my mom.”

Marco, for once, seemed to not have any words of wisdom. “Jean... I know, well I don't know, but...”

“Yea” Jean cut him off. “Lets just play the game”

* * *

 

 Jean stared blankly at the ceiling fan, watching it slowly spin in circles around the light. Kind of like me? He thought. Spinning endlessly around a goal forever. Never truly meeting my goal.

His wallowing was interrupted by a cheerful chirp from his phone. Groaning he flopped onto his stomach and blindly reached out for his phone, it dinged again. “I know I know i’m looking!” He grumbled.

When his hand fell onto something hard he let out a triumphant little huff. Peering into the bright light he saw it was Eren who texted him.

From: Dickless 11:49

yo i asked around and they have decided that the best plan of action is to give her a note

From: Dickless 11:49

you cant chiken out than.

To: Dickless 11:50

Wow. Its times like this when im kinda sad you got your ass sent off to correctional school

Dickless 11:50

or  suck some guys dick and have your mom walk in

To: Dickless 11:50

I take it back

 

      Jean laid back on his bed, knowing their conversation was over. It was a good idea though, giving her a note. Then there was no way for him to back out; he could just shove the note into her hand and run as fast as humanly possible.

But a note seemed to impersonal, like breaking up with someone over text. Despite his fear she was still his mother after all.

Then an idea struck him. A beautiful idea filled with marshmallows and candy and french fries and...wow he really should have eaten dinner.

* * *

 

 

“......You're what?” Marco asked, looking up from his textbook at Jean who was leaning against his desk.

“I'm going to tell her by cake.” Jean repeated, as though it were the answer to all the worlds problems.

“You’re going to come out via cake?” Marco seemed unconvinced.

Jean nodded “Yea! It's like a note, so I still don't actually need to tell her, but cute so it's not as impersonal!”

“Was this an Eren idea?” Marco asked, still a bit weary of the plan.

“His other idea was to give someone a blowjob and have her walk in”

Marco chuckled, “Just don't make the cake yourself.”

“I'll have you know I am perfectly good at cooking!”Jean exclaimed, placing a hand over his heart in fake offense. “Remember your birthday!”

“You made pasta.” Marco deadpanned back.

      Jean scoffed and went back to his seat. Honestly he had no intention of making his own cake for this, not when he could get one of much higher quality from a store. He had decided that the cake was going to be simple, white with black letters. He was too broke for anything more extravagant. It was going to be ordered from a bakery a bit out of Trost.

* * *

 

        Stepping inside the old bakery, the door giving off a clear ding!, Jean immediately noticed the mismatched tables. There was a little over five in the room total, and each was a different style. They didn’t seem out of place though, especially not when the various light fixtures varied just as much. In fact, the whole room looked like it had been decorated with a trip to Habitat for Humanity and fifty bucks.

Just beyond the tables, the treats were displayed. A glass case ran along a wooden bar displaying cakes and cookies of every fashion. A man stood behind the counter and, despite being some shade of senior citizen, was reading a teen gossip magazine.

Hearing the bell on the door ring the man looked up. “Hello son! Come on in, I don't bite nearly as much as the wind will!” Jean nodded quickly, sliding the rest of the way through the door and closing it behind him.

“Well, My name is Mr. Arlert and what can I do for you today?” The man asked, smile wide on his face. Jean gave a half grin back.

“Right. I uh...I need a cake.” Jean stuttered out, eye flickering over the chalkboard menu posted on the wall.

Mr. Arlert chuckled lightheartedly, as he put his magazine away. “I suppose that is the kind of thing you can find at a bakery”

Roiling his eyes Jean responded “Yea yea, I know. I need a specific one though. Like....”

The man interrupted, “We don't do proposal cakes for anyone under 18”.

Jean stopped “Uh okay. I wasn't going to propose to anyone. I uh..” He stopped, nervous as to what the old man's reaction would be. What if he took it badly? Yelled at him or kicked him out of the shop? I should just call this whole thing quits while I have my dignity still intact! Jean thought, ready to turn and leave.

“I wanted a coming out cake”

Wait what?

Were had the courage for that come from?

There was silence for a moment, before “Ahh, I see.” Mr. Arlert shuffled around in the pile of papers before him.

“I don't have the best handwriting in the world, but my grandson can do wonderful job with calligraphy. He's gay to ya know.” He let out a small victorious “Ah!” “Hear. Fill out this form and It will put in your order.”

Jean stared blankly at the form being healed out to him. Had that man just causally excepted his homosexuality and moved on? No bells or whistles about it just a form that, despite looking like it had seen better days, was the ticket to coming out to him mom.

Reaching out to take the paper Jean gave Mr. Arlert a small smile, before going to sit down at a lime green table with assorted wooden chairs. Mr. Arlert went back to his magazine.

The form was not all that complicated. Just a series of questions about what he wanted on the cake and contact information. Jean had completed it in only a few minuets. Prepared to go after handing Mr. Arlert the form, Jean was surprised when the man tried to continue the conversation.

“My grandson is gay as well” He said, looking Jean right in the eyes.

“You mentioned” Jean responded pulling his bag higher up on his shoulder, ready to leave. He was confused as to why this was being brought up again.

“Yes. Well when I found out about his gay it was because of the boyfriend he had. Came into the bakery and asked for him.” Mr. Arlert chucked fondly, Jean chuckled with him.

“He's single now though” Mr. Arlert added on, looking Jean right in the eye. “Has been for a bit”

“Oh. Okay?” Jead said, clearly confused as to why that detail had been stretched so far.

“Yes” Mr. Arlert continued “He was so worried about how I would react, didn't tell me for so long! I had to wiggle it out of him.” Pointing to a picture on the wall he continued.

“That's Armin there. Back when we went to the shore in July. Cute isn't he?” Mr. Arlerts eyes shifted onto Jean's face, who was focused on the picture.

He had to admit that the boy in the picture was quite attractive. With his eyes shining with pure joy and blond hair loose in the wind, light coming through it in a way that made him look almost angelic. The boys body was facing the ocean, but he was twisted back to smile at the camera. It was a beautiful picture, and Jean did agree that Armin was cute, he just didn't understand why Mr. Arlert was going to such lengths to point it out.

“Yea. He's uh, nice. It's a nice picture.” Jean said, sounding almost as awkward as he felt.

“Very well than” Mr. Arlert said “I suppose I have taken up enough of your time! The cake will be ready in two days, hope to see you than!” Then he turned back to his magazine.

Jean did all he could not to run out of the shop.


	2. I Got Killed By a Soccer Mom and Now I'm Dead

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> http://zelkams-art.tumblr.com/post/118635050694/jearmin-reverse-bang-ass-sweet-as-chocolate-oh
> 
> Wonderful art by Zelkam there.

As a child Marco had a lot of friends. He was invited to all the birthday party’s and sleepovers, his kind natured personality and sweet smile drawing in the other children like flies to honey.

 

Jean, well he was the vinegar to Marcos honey. In fact until 5th grade he was only invited to a single birthday party, and even then it was only because the teacher said you had to invite the whole class. It didn’t help his social situation very much considering he pushed a boy into the pool. The only reason he ever made any friends was because he was lucky enough to be seated next to the only boy in the whole 5th grade who wouldn’t fight him for taking all the good snacks.

 

Laying on Jeans bed seven years later, however, that boy was beginning to regret not speaking up for those Doritos.

 

“So then I went to go order the cake? But the guy was so weirdlike he kept talking about his grandson and.......” Jean lay on his back, hands flying through the air as he spoke.

 

Marco believed he was justifying in thinking about how there angle, with him on the bed and Jean on the floor, was just _perfect_ for smothering, especially considering this was his third time hearing this story. At first it was fine, he would let out a small “Mhm, interesting” whenever Jean said something that seemed important as he continued to flip through his magnetize. But than Jean started in on telling the story for the fourth time, and Marco couldn’t deal anymore.

 

“I don't know Marco. Maybe I should just marry a girl with small boobs and call it a day, ya know.”

 

Marco sighed, looking up from the magnetize he had been reading, he worked so hard to keep his sanity around this boy. “Look Jean, tell you what. If you don't feel up to telling her again than you can come over and we will eat the cake together. Deal?”

 

Jean put his hands over his face and grumbled something that might have been an agreement.

 

“Alright than. Did you do your history essay yet?”

 

* * *

 

Oh how they must feel. To live in a world absent of worry and judgment. To be free to make there own choices and walk across the damn street, buy the damn cake, and give it to there damn moms.

 

Jean stared at the door across the street. There was so much pink. Pink words, pink handle, pink everything!. The majority of it was a pastel, with a darker pattern following the edge. In the center hung a cupcake with the lacy words “Titan Cakes” painted on it. The handle was so bright it actually hurt to look at. Jean thought that the whole thing looked more fitting for a barbie mansion than a professional business. Despite it's childish appearance, Jean was terrified to go inside.

 

“Okay Jean. Your fricken 17. Man the FUCK up and buy the cake.”

He gave a cursory glance to the side, after years of being in and out of Marcos gaggle of siblings he had learned to check to see if any young children were present if he dropped an F-bomb.

 

Finding the coast clear he got ready to began his journey across the street. He had one goal, get to the door of the bakery. He would worry about the rest when he got there, for now he just had to get in that door. With a determination that could only be rivaled by Eren Jeager, Jean took a steep forward.

 

His eyes focused on the barbie pink handle like a beacon in a storm. Nothing else mattered. Just getting there and not running home like a baby.

He was almost there! A few more steps and he would be.... on the ground?

When did he get on the ground? He blearily opened his eyes, above him was a blur that was to pink to not be a little girl.

 

“Papa is he dead?” She asked, pushing her face into his “Hey Mr! Are you dead?”

He blinked wearily at her. “Uh...maybe?”

“Well than you should get out of the street!” She chirped

 

He nodded. Holding a hand to his head Jean stumbled the remaining few feet to the door.

The first think he noticed was the boy behind the counter.

 _I'm dead_ Jean thought _I got killed by a goddamn soccer mom and now I'm dead._

 

All Jean could think was that he was fricking gorgeous. His golden hair tied up in a haphazard pony tail, a few strands had escaped and fallen down to frame his eyes perfectly. Those eyes! They were a blue like he had never seen, and Jean felt like he could get lost in them forever. He wasn’t sure if he looked like an angel or something out of his wet dreams.

 

“Is this heaven?' Jean asked, he couldn’t some up with another solution for such a _perfect_ view.

The boy cocked his head and let out a laugh, oh that laugh “No, we do have some angel food cake though!”

Jean didn’t respond, just continued to stare, oblivious to the fact that he was expected to respond. He didn’t register the angels hand moving until it was waving over his perfect face.

 

Finally having Jeans attention, the boy spoke again. “You seemed pretty out of it there! I'm Armin, are you okay?”

 

So the angels name was Armin, it sounded kind of familiar? _Okay Jean, say something cool!_ He thought

“So I'm not dead?”

_Fuck_

 

It did make Armin chuckle again. “No. I don't think you were hit that hard! Do you need a band aid or something? We probably have one somewhere.”

 

Jean shook his head “Uh. No. Um. I'm actually hear for a cake. I'm Jean.”

 

“That is the kind of thing you find at a bakery” Armin smiled and began shifting through the papers on the counter, Jean assumed he was looking for an order form.“Do you already have an order, or do you still need to place one?”

 

“I uh” Jean started, stuttering. _I really need to get my shit together! He isn't the first hot guy you've seen!_ He thought, frantically trying to not make even more of a fool out of himself.

 

He coughed than continued “I ordered one. Um it should be done? My name is Jean?”

 

Armin chuckled again as he flipped through the order forms. “You mentioned. Yours was the double chocolate coming out cake right?” He looked right into Jeans eyes as he smiled, and Jeans heart practically stopped. He could give Armin a small nod, and an undignified squeak that he would deny later.

“That's a clever way of doing it.” Armin continued. “I wish I had thought of it, not that grandpa would have eaten the cake but.”

 

“But you...?” Jean questioned

 

“Yea. Grandfather is kind of strange. As I'm sure you can tell by the decorating.”

 

Jean looked around, noting the fact that absolutely nothing matched. “Yea I can see that. The door is especially awful!”

 _Oh god oh god_ Jean thought _you just insulted his and his grandfather decorating skills! Just because it's strange! God Jean why!_

 

Before Jean could blurt out more embarrassing things that would just dig him into a deeper whole, Armin spoke.

“At least you don't have to look at it all day!” They both chuckled at that.

Well Armin chuckled, Jean just awkwardly laughed while trying not to have an aneurysm.

 

When he had seen to all the forms Armin pulled out a white cake box. “There you go! Hears the cake! I might have gone a bit overboard with the calligraphy, but it was fun so.....Why is there a sticky note on this box telling me to flirt with you?”

 

You know those moments when you think it would be better to just die. If you could just spontaneously combust or fall into a black hole. Well that's kinda how Jean felt right now. The old grandfather was trying to set them up. Not that that was an issue, anything involving being hooked up with this particular blond was fine by him, but Armin didn't want any part in that.

 

“Gosh Jean. I'm sorry.” He dropped the cake on the table like it had burned him. “He always does things like this! I don't know if it's because he want to show his acceptance or if he just wants me to get laid or what but.” He sighed and hung his head in his hands “You already paid so you can just go if you like. I'm sorry.”

 

Jean waited for more but Armin just stood still behind the counter with his hands over his face. So Jean took the cake and silently left. It was actually pretty awkward. With Armin so still like that and Jean trying to maneuver around the mix-matched chairs to the door. For the second time that week Jean ran from the shop.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the serious delay. Everything I had written got deleted and finals and I suck so.  
> Again sorry I really rushed this one.


End file.
